...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
