My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Randomize
