Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
