omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize