she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
