No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize