you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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