How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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