A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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