Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
