you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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