I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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