so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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