Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
