I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize