I think my vagina is haunted
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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