Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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