i already hear my dad disowning me
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
