FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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