I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
