I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
