once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
