His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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