he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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