we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I supernannyed him into submission
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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