I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
