I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
