When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
