he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
