The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
