I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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