Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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