I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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