You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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