Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
