I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
