I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
