i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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