I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
