Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
