i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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