so explain again why im purple
no
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
