During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize