We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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