Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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