awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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