Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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