Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
