i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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