if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
