weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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