let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
