singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
