Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize