It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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