they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Terrible idea I love it
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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