I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
