I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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