So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
