There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
