his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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