my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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